Doors and the Obstacle that is Ourselves
I find myself questioning things once in a while…thinking about things I want to do, things that happened, things that might’ve been. I smile and shudder at every possibility. A friend of mine once told me that there was just so much to do in life that it’s hard to do them all. I find that to be mildly true, that in our pursuit of things we want to be and we want to achieve, we lose sight of why we wanted to do them in the first place.
Our aspirations become a point of judgment, we no longer see ourselves for what we have become but we compare ourselves to our distant goals. We end up losing ourselves in the process. It is true that the worst judgment a person can have is one that is from himself. When everyone else sees the good in you, you only see your flaws. When everyone thinks highly of you, all you can focus on is how lowly you think of yourselves compared to others who’ve achieved so much. Others who are probably thinking the same way you are now.
We’re convinced that there are only two points in life, to be selfish or to be selfless. We convince ourselves to be either at any point in our lives. We say to ourselves, give yourself the best for once, then consider the fact that we rarely give upon those whom we truly love. It is ironic that we are made to believe that we are the heroes in our own story, when in truth we are just part of a bigger story.
The thing is, those goals, those fears, those aspirations…you will only fail them if you believe you can fail them. That is why self reflection is a trap, the more we see our flaws the more we think we can fail. When in all honesty the only thing that can truly stop us is ourselves. We see people better than us and we convince ourselves that we can no longer be like them, not realizing we have the potential to surpass them. We fail once and we force ourselves to stop. Everyone achieves what he/she wants in time, it doesn’t matter when, if you don’t stop running you’ll eventually reach the finish line. Ask the man who finally traveled the world when he was 80 years old, or the woman who finally achieved her dream after 50 years. You see, our future has already been secure the moment we believed that we can do so. You say you can win and you will win, you fear that you will fail and so you will. Life is more literal than we thought it ever was.
As for myself, I learned a long time ago that I shouldn’t force myself on doors that don’t open. But instead, allow these doors to invite me in. Then probably at a point it will tell me to stay awhile, I will enjoy the destination behind it. Then maybe it will lead me to another door as well. Isn’t that the beauty of it all? That we don’t truly know what the end is until we see it? That is, only if you let yourself be guided by something called fate…or maybe even a higher power.